Middle school is such a vulnerable stage of child development. Students face so many challenges as they mature into young adults - puberty, social dynamics, self identity, academic demands, and increased responsibilities. I strive to ensure that students view orchestra as a safe environment where they can be comfortable being themselves.
In my orchestra classes, we talk frequently about being a team. About being a family. We are fortunate to get to stay together as a class for multiple years, and many of the friendships build in orchestra last well beyond high school. For "E" it turned out that those friendships would be his lifeline to get through the next several years.
"E" is one of 18 students in my very first 5th grade beginning orchestra class at Hazelwood. My "minions" is the nickname that we later settled on. "E" quickly settled in with a small group of 5 students, and they did ( and still do) EVERYTHING together. After a couple years, I started to notice that "E" was less vocal in class - "E" wasn't smiling as much, and wasn't progressing on cello as quickly.
This group of 5 tended to stay after frequently on Thursdays when we had open practice and high school "buddies" who would come help. One Thursday, "E" stayed after, and asked if we could talk. "E" came out to me as transgender, and then "E" said he hadn't told anyone else. Not a friend, not a counselor. No one. I reassured "E" that he was safe, reminded that he has sooo many people that care about him, praised him for being brave, and thanked him for trusting me to be the person that he trusted with somethings so big! To this day, I still have no idea why I was the person "E" chose to open up to - but I'm so glad he did.
Since the rest of "E's" little quintet consisted completely of kids identifying as girls, "E" was terrified to talk to them about his gender identification. And then there was the matter of "E's" family - not the most open-minded crew, according to "E." Slowly, "E" started to build confidence in who he wanted to be, and when his home family had trouble accepting him, his school family stepped up. That little group? They will graduate this year, and they are still the best of friends.
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